Why the Phrase "Take care of yourself first" used to Trigger me

I used to be so triggered by people saying: “Fill up your own cup first! It’s so important to take care of yourself first!” 


I just didn’t understand what they meant? I was obviously already taking care of myself: eating right, making sure I was making money, buying nice things for myself… 


But something told me that they were right, and that I was triggered and frustrated because I clearly WASN’T doing this. I was living like this: waking up, working out, driving to work in lots of traffic, working all day, getting home as quick as I could, practicing yoga, cooking dinner, cleaning up, relaxing for a little bit, going to bed. Playing in the garden on the farm whenever I could. Making money, spending money on things I didn’t really need, all the while wondering why my life felt so stressed and tiring. Now, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this lifestyle: I did have fun, worked with really cool people, was good at my job, and I simply did what I had to do at that time… 


But then I started tracking the Moon. 


Just the simple practice of checking in with myself daily, to see how I was feeling, and seeing what phase the Moon was in, made me AWARE. 


I learned that I could set intentions with the New Moon, and use the energy of the Moon to live a more turned-on life {and oh the Moon was just the beginning to that!}. I learned that I could tap into the phases of the Moon, to find my OWN phases and that they would always be there to nurture me and tell me what I needed in any given moment.


I didn’t want to live the daily hustle anymore, I wasn’t taking care of myself in the ways that I truly wanted to at all. 


I vowed to myself that I would not do this forever, and from there I started to make small changes in my life. I set intentions with the Moon, I kept on going with checking in with myself: what is it that I truly want? Truly need?


Some days that was not working out. Some days that was a longer yoga practice. Some days that was ordering a pizza instead of cooking dinner. Some days that was working longer hours on my VA business.


I wanted freedom. 


And now, I got it. 


I started working on the side as a Virtual Assistant, while keeping on applying the principles that I learned since I started with the simple practice of tracking the Moon: setting intentions, visioning, using gratitude to make me FEEL better, saying affirmations, putting myself out there, networking, magnetizing my first clients {that appeared to be coming out of nowhere!}, getting smarter about planning my days so I had more time for myself… Eventually, I was able to quit my job, and a year later here I am writing to you sharing my journey. 


Now, I understand about filling up my own cup first. The most important thing for me is to listen to myself, and TRULY listen, to what I need. How can I get into the beautiful vibe of gratitude and joy and happiness, in any given moment ~ and then proceed from there. Trust me when I say that even small household tasks like folding laundry are way less daunting when I come from that place. Things I HAVE {we all still have to do these things!} to do, feel more fulfilling because I AM fulfilled. It’s not so much about what I do or when…but HOW I do it and in WHAT state of being. Get it? 


To me, that is a big part of self-love and self-care. Being aware. Accepting of what is present in the moment.


And if you’re triggered, good, because that means you are becoming aware ;)