Emerging from the Womb of the Earth {in a Cave in Mexico}

Cenote Post.png

These images were taken a little bit after re-emerging out of the womb of the Earth. 

This part of Mexico has underground rivers and waterways, that have emerged to the surface in several spots over time. These cenotes, or water holes, are the veins of the earth, and deeply nourishing. Some of them are above ground, some are very deep and underground. 

Most people visit them, swim, take pictures, and leave. 

I wanted a deeper experience. 

I found a beautiful local teacher/therapist who offers mindfulness and meditations in the middle of the jungle.

So there I was. 

About to go down super steep steps, into an underground cave. All we had was flashlights. We were going to swim in this cave, very slowly, taking our time. 

I’m terrified of water. I don’t know why, but ever since I was little I’m scared of water and not being able to breath. I have regular nightmares about tsunami’s crashing over me, or high tides coming in very quickly. Maybe it has to do with strong emotions, or resistance to surrendering, or maybe I was drowned in a past life ~ I don’t know. 

But there I was, swimming in a completely dark cave. 

I knew I was here for a reason, so I figured I may as well keep on going, and I did. The flashlight was bright, and the water so crystal clear that as I was swimming, I could see where I was going.

My body was confused by the darkness and warmth of the cave, but cold of the water, and started to panic a little, my chest started to tighten ~ I breathed. 

We would take regular stops and take in the cave, watch the calcites, remember the age of this place, and watch the little fish that spend most of their life in complete darkness, and that now welcomed us, with the light of the flashlights, with open arms. Somehow that comforted me that I was indeed welcome there, that it was okay. They were not scared of me with my light, so I didn’t have to be scared of their home here either. Time slowed down and all we did was breathe. 

The underground cenotes are filled with calcites here, formed by seeping water over thousands and thousands of years. My guide Diane, showed me spider-web like strings hanging in a few spots from the ceiling of the cave. These were baby calcites, slowly being formed by the passing of water along them, and time. These thin, spider-web like calcites were a 100 years old. Already a 100 years old, or only a 100 years old - in perspective of how old these cave systems are, there is no right way to put that! I took it all in.

And then the emotions came. Give yourself enough time to slow down and be present, and any suppressed emotions will rise to the surface. But it wasn’t a bad thing, it was something that I could breath my way through, because here I was, being scared yet completely in awe of the beauty of this place.

And we kept on swimming. And breathing.

We found a beautiful spot to sit on, and here we sat, and meditated. We turned off our flashlights and we just breathed in complete darkness. The air was moist, my skin was damp and didn’t dry because there was next to none air flow, it was warm, and dark. And I felt I was in the womb of the earth. I felt the infinity of this place, of me, of everything. All I could feel was a strong love and calmness, and I felt so safe, in this dark embrace. 

I felt proud of myself for being brave, grateful to have a patient and loving guide with me, and So. Much. Love. 

The way back to the entrance of the cave was much shorter than I had thought. It’s amazing to witness my mind and my own fear trying to make the journey into the cave seem long and difficult - yet the way back was beautiful and short.

We ended our experience at another cenote {the one pictured}, which was above ground, and I felt immediately invited to go into the water. We sat in a beautiful gratitude ceremony with offerings to the elements and to the Earth, the jungle and of course, to the water, for keeping me safe, nourished and alive.

During our ending ceremony, I was actually called to embrace the flow of water. To let go of keeping myself small, to simply be grateful for being alive, and being able to experience life.

I was called to be grateful for my patience with myself, and how kind I was to myself when I was scared in the darkness of the cave. 

And I was called to set the intention to embrace the flow, to be present, and to trust